DIFFERENTIAL CHANGE SENSORPHOTO-TRANSISTOR
Note I decided to go with a differential input usingpicked a photo-transistor for this model. Actually, for the simulation I used an opto-coupler so I could manipulate the signal levels. That may be over-sensitive for your needs and a simpler photo-diode may be sufficient. It is important you set it up so it works with the area lit in full sun, with the sensor itself in shade. If you can get it to work under those conditions it should work in the dark without issue. There are a lot of choices of devices on the market, most of them are relatively cheap, so you may want to buy a fewvariety of types to test for the best results.
TheDIFFERENTIAL CHANGE SENSOR
I decided to go with a differential input using the photo-transistor. The amount of illumination present is supposed to change how much current bypasses R3 changing the voltage difference across it. The change in voltage here when the headlights flash is passed through the two high-pass capacitor C2 and C3, the output of which are biased at half-rail. The bonus of this differential method is you can mount the sensor remotely from the rest of the circuitry through appropriate twisted pair shielded cable.
As I say, the above seems to work in LTSPICE, but whether it works in practice in your actual setup conditions is not guaranteed. The circuit seems quite sensitive, but in no way is optimized, and without actual parts and conditions it is impossible to tell if it is even close. I definitely suspect you will need to play with R1,R2 and R3 with the actual devices and in sunlight vs darkness to get some sort of compromise. Be aware though, circuits like this are notoriously finicky, and unless you are up to the challenge and have the appropriate equipment, including a scope, it may be beyond your current ability. Either way, the circuit may give you some ideas of where to start. Anyways, good luck.