I just want to post this here to help other absolute beginners like me. The circuit above is correct and imperfect. But if it isn't working, here are some cases to check:
My issue was the breadboard being finicky. If a single connection point on a breadboard is at the whim of chance (as in you have to wiggle it a bit to get a connection), then that's the chance you won't have a working circuit. Those chances compile too.
But also, if you're trying to get a circuit like this working, it is important to read the answer above: https://electronics.stackexchange.com/a/323022/87434 about getting the right MOSFET. What matters most in a scenario like this is getting an N-Channel MOSFET with the minimum threshold being below 3.3V
Finally, it is good practice to have a resistor connecting the Gate and Source. I'll update this later with the correct resistor type (once I've found it). I believe it's because connecting these helps ensure that the MOSFET defaults to off if something goes awry.