You are mixing up two very different concepts.
When you talk about impedance you are implicitly examining the behavior of the system in an AC steady state condition, i.e. when excited by a sinusoidal signal.
When you talk about "start up" you are looking at the behavior of the system during a transient. This is a completely different regime, because, by definition, steady state is the regime you have when any transient has already died off.
So, whenever you excite a discharged capacitor with a signal that "starts up", i.e. is zero before a given instant of time, the capacitor is subjected to a transient response that dies off after some time (depending on the time constant of the circuit).
Only after the transient response of the system has terminated you can consider the circuit in steady state, and only then the V-I relationship can be computed using the impedance.
This is true even if you apply a sinusoidal signal that "starts up", i.e. not an ideal sinusoidal signal (which is infinite along the time axis). If the signal "starts up" there will be a transient response before the steady state kicks in, even if the part after start-up is sinusoidal.
Note: I simplified a bit the discourse to avoid delving into circuit modeling and differential equations analysis. The details may be more complicated depending on the specific circuit the capacitor is in and depending on which specific signal is applied.
EDIT
BTW, to answer explicitly the title question, the basic
relationship describing a capacitor is this:
$$
q(t) = C \cdot v(t)
$$
where \$q\$ is the charge "stored" in the capacitor, \$C\$ is the capacitance (constant for linear caps) and \$v\$ is the voltage across the cap. BTW, if you apply a time derivative to both member
you get the usual V-I relationship for linear caps, i.e. \$i(t)=C \cdot \frac{dv(t)}{dt}\$
Nitpick: i quoted "stored" because a capacitor doesn't actually store charge, but energy. The net charge inside a cap is always zero. The energy comes from charge separation between the two plates.
In the formula above note the time dependency. That formula is valid for each instant of time. If at a given time \$t_0\$ a capacitor is not charged, by definition, it has \$q(t_0)=0\$, hence \$v(t_0)\$ must be 0, even if some current in that instant of time is flowing. Therefore, at that instant, the capacitor is like a short circuit: current flowing, no resistance and no voltage across it.