If you can give me a formula + explanation like I'm 10 years old you will make me a very happy man.
There are already two comprehensive answers but I'll add to try and speak to this part of the question, since I don't personally build intuition from formulas. You write:
My "explanation" is that 10 ohms "gives" smaller resistance, thus it should be okay while 10k gives much more resistance thus it should be a much more strained component.
Put aside the resistor for a moment and consider what voltage is. Voltage is measured in joules per coulomb, or "energy per electron". No matter what resistor you put in that circuit, every single electron that flows through will dissipate the same amount of energy in doing so. The resistor just controls how many electrons flow through per unit of time. High value resistors reduce the amount of current (rate of electron flow) more than low value ones do, so the resistor doesn't "give" anything to the circuit, it would be more correct to say that it takes away (which is why it ends up in the denominator of many equations).
On strain:
This isn't really a meaningful measure of what's happening to the resistor, since parts can fail in lots of different ways. In specific, your resistor is overheating. This is because like we said, the energy per electron is constant, and once you pick your resistor, the energy per time is too. All the energy the electrons are losing has to go somewhere, and in this case, it's into your resistor. As the resistor gains energy, it heats up. Hot objects conduct heat energy to their environment faster the warmer they are, so if energy flows into the resistor at a constant rate, it will rise in temperature until it is flowing out as heat at the same rate. This is called Newton's Law of Cooling.
$$
\dot{Q} = hA\Delta T
$$
It states that the rate energy is transferred (the Q) equals the difference in temperature between it and the environment, multiplied by the area for transfer, multiplied by a magic constant h. From this its clear that raising the temperature difference increases the rate energy flows out. In your case, the temperature the resistor would need to be to dissipate heat that quickly is above the combustion temperature of the material.
You can also increase the area instead - this is what radiator fins do and you can bolt them onto many parts (for example, power transistors).
You can also adjust the h constant. In practice, h is based on a whole bunch of things like the materials concerned, the flow of fluids over the hot surface, and so on. One easy way to increase h is to surround the hot object in a liquid. You can immerse a resistor in water and drive much more current through it than it can usually handle, because the water will conduct heat away a lot faster than air will (do not though, since water can electrolyze, there are shorting concerns, etc).
Manufacturers give wattage ratings based on specific assumptions about how their resistors will be used, and therefore how quickly energy will flow out.
Finally, as you've noted, you can adjust the amount of power being dissipated by changing the value of the resistor.
Bonus off-topic answer: What happens when the resistor can't combust because there's no oxygen? In this case, the temperature can get quite high - high enough that significant amounts of energy start to flow out as blackbody radiation in addition to the regular conduction / convection to the surroundings, and the resistor will begin to glow 💡