##Brief responses to your added questions:##
For longer work, you'll have to aim more at new questions, this shouldn't become a complex state-full thread themed "Help Sjoerd finish his design from start to finish"
- The main reason I wouldn't use the 78-types is the high current it draws itself, it can be protected sufficiently by a TVS and a filter. It may be wise for a 24V design to find something a bit more in the direction of 40Vmax, to allow you vehicle voltage to fluctuate upto at least 34V before your protection starts clamping.
1b. Those TVS should work, but make sure you get their clamping voltage a ways beyond your maximum expected normal use voltage, but at least a few volts below the lowest Vmax of your electronics. Try to think about elements that limit the peak pulse to, or preferably way below, 40A. You can use a polyfuse, or the added filter-damping fuse for that.
- It should be fine without opto's, if you have a nice noise source you can stress test it in-lab. A drill driving a medium-size DC motor with a low-voltage source in series might give you a nice worst-case test signal. Or it might not.
- The transistors switch in a sense when you let them saturate. With 4.7k they should be able to pull much more than 70mA and still saturate, when the resistors are connected to a 5V signal. If you want more details there's a lot about that on this site.
- You can add a small resistor as a sort of extra filter, with or without a ferrite bead for the high frequency stuff. But that will require extra capacitance. It is smart to add a 22nF to 100nF bypass capacitor to any digital chip, to supply switching currents locally. There's also a lot about this on this website. Adding a current-limiting resistor to an MCU is a very strange practise. Especially for 200mA on a Tiny45. If your Tiny45 is pulling an average current of 200mA it's broken and your relay can be discarded anyway. Digital chips, if not filtered, get connected directly, because "we" trust them to behave. Unless we know otherwise.
Input filtering and all that:
The capacitors and the inductor in that image get calculated to filter at the appropriate points without causing oscillations. This post is already too long to detail that, but again, there's a lot on filter design on this website already anyway. The reason I mention the C2 to C1 relationship is that if you don't stick to that, there's a risk you are building a boost converter using your alternator ripple, which might boost the voltage to 1.5x, 2x, or even more. This is not the likeliest thing to happen if you're experienced, but when starting out, it's best to stick to the rule for C1 and C2.
The diode is protection from ms-scale cut-outs and input voltage reversal. To note, as well, that if input reversal is a likely possibility, it's best to have all caps before the diode be ceramic or other bipolar types. For longevity.
For the caps you can over-do it, costing money and space and possibly creating high inrush currents, or possibly the opposite: High ESR in the caps, which would dampen the filter even more than the dampening resistor. If you move the dampening resistor before the TVS, when the TVS only protects your electronics, the filter will work better, you can then also look into pi-filtering, but you can also over-do filters quite easily. A simple L-C filter in the ballpark, a small safety resistor and a TVS should get you so close to Automotive spec that it'll probably do well without actual full testing for all but commercial production runs.