Instead of running your CAN backbone through the PCB it should be an external cable with a terminator at each end.
All of the devices should be teed off the backbone with 30cm or less stubs.
This overcomes the distance restriction which necessitates your feed through devices. Your main PCB becomes just another device teed off the backbone.
There is no specific connector for CAN select something with the required number of conductors and preferably something that has a T connector for connecting your devices to the backbone. Have a look at the range of NMEA 2000 connectors and cables.