Yaaaaay it works!! Thanks @Bravale! I also wired and tested the ZCD circuit and its working just fine.. now Software which is my strong hehe

Ok so, with the modified circuit I can just pull the pin up and it won't blow up? I actually plan to use ZC and phase angle to regulate the speed, for this first iteration I was happy with just turning on the load

Ok, I was suspecting about both things you mention. I trusted the sample application in MOC3021M's datasheet and it did connect the resistors to LIVE, but all the other examples were connecting the resistor in series with the motor.. I also thought maybe I only needed to send pulses even for 100% (no diming), just no delay after ZC, but saw several tutorials where they just "connect the gate with a switch".. so.. followup: do I need the ZC for this test, right?

the red wires from an ATX power supply carry 5 V wow... Why I didn't think about that on the first place haha. Thanks man!

I doubt it will work because it's already blown out hahaha!