We use some sort of structural adhesive for these kinds of applications, where staking is required.
Since this is for a high-volume ECU, I assume the proper structural/vibration analysis was done? If so, the first thing you need to do is go back to that analysis analysis and figure out where the disconnect is between the model and the real world. Then you will be in better position to ascertain whether staking is a way out of your problem.
EDIT 1 - Added typical vibe profile
The plot below is what comes out of a properly done vibration analysis. The colors represent the amount of deflection, with blue being the smallest (the board being constrained along its edges), and red the highest. A structural engineer then takes the mass properties of the components, the amount of movement and frequency (which are used to compute the G forces) and figures out what the stresses are, and where.
Lacking such an analysis, you're left with just using guesses as to what kind, where, and how much adhesive to use.